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Iowa’s Tevaun Smith Just Beat Odell Beckham Jr.’s One-Handed Catch Record

ODB who?

 

Did Odell Beckham Jr. even have the record for a full 24 hours?  I don’t think so.  Then my boy Tevaun Smith comes outta nowhere and crushes his record.  ODB who?  Iowa forever.

By trent posted January 30th, 2015 at 4:50 PM

Tiger’s Marshawn Lynch Joke Taking Us Into The Weekend

Tiger thought this joke was so funny.

 

Tiger thought that joke was so funny.  Have a great weekend everybody!

By trent posted January 30th, 2015 at 4:25 PM

DraftKings $120K NBA Crossover Contest Is Tonight!

  CLICK HERE TO PLAY   Happy Friday!  You’re less than a couple of hours away from booze falling from the ceiling at happy hour and living it up.  Weekends are the best.  How can you make it better?  DraftKings.  That’s how.  Bringing you their $120k NBA Crossover contest.  $20 entry, draft 8 players and [...]

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CLICK HERE TO PLAY

 

Happy Friday!  You’re less than a couple of hours away from booze falling from the ceiling at happy hour and living it up.  Weekends are the best.  How can you make it better?  DraftKings.  That’s how.  Bringing you their $120k NBA Crossover contest.  $20 entry, draft 8 players and have a chance to win $20,000.  Happy weekend!

 

Contest details: 

-Draft 8 players

-$20 entry

-$20K To First

-$120K in prizes

 

CLICK HERE TO PLAY

By trent posted January 30th, 2015 at 3:40 PM

The Onion Perfectly Explained What It’s Like To Be A Fat Baby Once You’ve Grown Up

It's satire but it hits all too close to home for this once-upon-a-time fat baby.

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RICHBORO, PA—Saying that no other fact about him elicits more interest and attention from others, local man Travis Whitaker explained to reporters Friday how all of his numerous accomplishments are routinely overshadowed by his hefty birth weight of 10 pounds, 6 ounces. “You know, I’ve risen pretty far at my law firm in only a few years, I ran track at college, and I’ve played piano my whole life, but as soon as people find out how much I weighed as a newborn, all of that goes right out the window, and they just want to talk about how much bigger I was than regular babies,” said Whitaker

(click the link to read the whole thing)

 

Gotta love the Onion.  Their stuff, unlike 90% of the stuff on the internet, comes from people with actual talent and a great grasp on satire.  I don’t read all their stuff but, the stuff I do read, almost always nails it.  And while this hilarious article about being a fat baby is satire, it hits all too close to home for this once-upon-a-time fat baby.  Everything they say in there is 1000% true.  People find out that you were a fat baby and that’s all they wanna talk about.  I like to think I have a pretty interesting (or at least different) job.  It’s good for conversation.  Smut blogging.  But the person I’m talking to finds out I weighed 14 pounds at birth?  It’s over.  Usually it happens when one of my asshole friends brings it up outta nowhere.  It turns into endless “Your poor mother!” and “How is that even possible?” comments.  There are friends of friends that I’ll see at a bar and they’ll say “14 pound baby, right?”  Such is life when you sprint into the world at that size.  Silver lining?  Some girls find the story funny/interesting.  Go from talking babies to making babies, am I right?  With my face I’ll take all the help I can get.

By trent posted January 30th, 2015 at 3:05 PM

Study Shows That Drinking Beer Is Good For Your Brain! Drink Up People!

Sold! I'll believe this study because it fits my life narrative.

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Metro- According to new research, a compound used in beer could help protect brain cells from damage. So, cheers!  The study found Xanthohumol, a compound in the hops used to flavour beer, is able to protect the brain from degenerative disorders, such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. Xanthohumol or Xn, which is known to have strong antioxidant properties, was found to protect brain cells from oxidative damage, which is associated with forms of dementia. Jianguo Fang and his team at Lanzhou University took brain cells from a rat and stress-tested them with Xn in a series of experiments. And they found the Xn reduced the level of oxidative stress on the cells, a process linked to degenerative diseases.

 

Sold!  You know what one of the great things about being an adult is?  The ability to be an enabler for yourself.  Studies like this go a long way in helping too.  For instance, there are tons and tons of studies out there that’ll tell you beer is bad for your brain.  Drink too much of it and you’re going to kill a billion brain cells and end up a vegetable.  But then a study like this comes out and tells us drink in beer is actually food for our brains.  Intriguing.  This is where the self enabling comes in.  I could either agree with the studies upon studies that say drinking beer will kill your brain OR I can agree with the one study that says it’ll make my brain better.  I’ll go with the latter because it fits me.  It’s great.  No matter what your point of view on something is, thanks to the internet, there’s more than likely a study out there that supports you.  And as an adult, I can solely pick the ones that agree with my way of thinking in order to never feel bad about myself.  Or maybe even just start making up studies that don’t exist.  Beer is good for the brain.  Bacon cures cancer.  Chinese food deters diabetes.  Cherry Coke gives you great skin.  Jerking off makes you more desirable to the opposite sex.  Well I’m set.  What a time to be alive.  Who cares if what you’re basing your life on is complete bull shit?  You’re only on this blue rock for 70 years or so, might as well do whatever the fuck you want and feel good about it based on random studies.

By trent posted January 30th, 2015 at 2:10 PM

Tiger Woods Is In Last Place At The WMPO And In Full Meltdown Mode

Last! Dead last!

 

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Last!  Dead last!  Obviously his second round isn’t over yet but, if he finishes this way, it’ll be such laughable way for him to start off his season.  Listen, I’m not sure what I expected from Tiger to start off 2015.  I was beyond excited for him to play at the WMPO for the first time since 2001.  The crowd wanted him there.  The sport needed him there.  Everybody wanted to see if he was healthy coming off back surgery.  And now this.  Honestly I’m so sad that all I can do is laugh about it.  I do this every time I talk myself into another Tiger comeback.  ”This time will be different.  He’s healthy!  He hasn’t been fully healthy in years!  He’s got a new swing and a new coach!  Now we’ll finally see what he can do!”  Welp, he’s healthy now and he’s 11 over after a round and a half and sitting in last place.  Yuck.  His chipping looks terrible (pretty sure he straight up has the yips) and I’m fairly certain he hates the crowd at WMPO.  Like really hates them.  I was hoping he’d feed off their energy and give them a show.  Instead he backed off twice at #16 yesterday because of the booing and yelling.  An all around disaster for Eldrick these last two days.  I don’t think I was expecting him to actually win this weekend but I’d say not finishing in last place was a realistic hope.  Maybe, just maybe, make the cut.  NOPE.

 

Oh and this doesn’t mean I’m giving up on Tiger.  I’ve long said I’ll be a Tiger apologist until he’s hangs it up.  That’s just the way it is.  He’s given me too many sports memories to give up on him.  But damn, even in 2013 when he won a bunch of tournaments feels like 20 years ago.  2008 when he won his last major might as well have been 500 years ago.  He’s just not the same guy.

 

PS- Gotta be pretty weird for Tiger playing next to Jordan Spieth.  Basically looking at an old version of himself.  The prodigy, the hot topic, the kid the crowd loves.  That’s Spieth now.  And Tiger is just the old guy.

 

Double PS- #RorysWorld in Duabi.

 

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By trent posted January 30th, 2015 at 1:25 PM

Better Know A Camel Toe

#BKACT

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Read the rest of this entry »

By trent posted January 30th, 2015 at 12:15 PM

Asshole Ghost Pushes Lady To The Ground For No Reason

  I’m not a big ghost guy (Sorry, Big Cat) but it’s hard to argue with the evidence here.  Lady is just standing there and then, all of a sudden, she looks like she got hit by a mack truck.  Head over heels like the ghost of Lawrence Taylor (I know he’s still alive.  I [...]

 

I’m not a big ghost guy (Sorry, Big Cat) but it’s hard to argue with the evidence here.  Lady is just standing there and then, all of a sudden, she looks like she got hit by a mack truck.  Head over heels like the ghost of Lawrence Taylor (I know he’s still alive.  I think?) came around the edge and blasted her Joe Theisman-style.  I mean that too.  That looks real.  I don’t believe in ghosts but this might be the proof I need to start thinking in a different way.  And it actually makes some sense.  If I were to believe in ghosts I wouldn’t believe that they haunt people they knew when they were alive.  That’s boring.  If I ever become a ghost I’m gonna be a mischievous ghost.  An archaist ghost.  Just fuck with random people for no reason.  Completely flip their lives upside down and they don’t know why.  That’s the type of ghost I’d be and that’s the type of ghost that crushed this lady.  No rhyme or reason to his madness.

By trent posted January 30th, 2015 at 11:25 AM
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