I mean I guess that Vine is supposed to be funny with the Ridin Dirty song playing in the background while Kevin Durant rolls around with a cast on. Kinda is. I can see the humor in a giant NBA basketball player coasting around on a one-legged scooter. I see that. It also makes me super sad. I’m not a Thunder fan but I do love me some Kevin Druant. He’s one the guys that when you see there’s a nationally televised Thunder game on TV, you watch. He puts up buckets like Bernard King. A purer scorer there is not in the NBA. Just kills defenders in every way possible. Dude is electric and it sucks he’s gonna be sidelined for awhile. Maybe it won’t be as long as we all think because did anybody else see that Paul George was shooting jumpers the other night at practice? That makes zero sense. It feels like we all watched his leg snap in half last week and now he’s shooting jumpers? Seems impossible. But hey, get well KD. And keep rolling around on that scooter.
Mirror- Eye-watering images released by a hospital in China show a man with a bottle lodged in his anus. The stomach-churning pictures reveal in excruciating detail the plight of a 60-year-old from Zhuhai, in the Guangdong Province of China. The desperate patient, who has not been named, claimed he was suffering from constipation and tried to stimulate himself with the bottle, doctors said. Having stuffed the whole object inside, he was then unable to remove it. This x-ray image went viral after being shared by colleagues in the hospital – luckily for the elderly man, his personal details have been kept hidden. Click below to see our gallery of other unusual items that have found their way somewhere they shouldn’t be.
My only question for this guy is how many other methods did he go through before “Hey, I’ll just stick a bottle up my ass” came mind? The order in which he came to that conclusion will say a lot about him. If it was the last idea in a long series of ideas to no longer be constipated, then he’s at least kinda normal. Few things are worse than constipation. You just want to kill yourself. You know what needs to happen but it won’t happen for whatever reason. So if this was the last idea this guy had then I say more power to him. Stick that bottle up your ass. Stick it way in there. Do what you gotta. No judgement here. Its actually not a terrible idea the more you think about it. What’s the old saying or adage? If you have a tooth ache slam your hand in a door and that’ll cure your tooth ache? Something like that. Same logic here. If you’re constipated then shove a bottle up your ass and like magic you’re no longer constipated. Sure you have a bottle up your ass but whatever. It just shifts the problem. But if shoving a bottle up his ass was one of his first ideas? Then he’s lying. He’s lying and he wasn’t constipated. He simply just likes to shove bottles up his ass except this time he went too far and had to make an excuse. He pushed and pushed his limits until the bottle was fully on the inside of him then whoops. Again, no judgement here. This is a judgment free zone. All I’m saying is know your limits if you’re going to decide to shove a bottle up your ass.
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So if you followed along with Hank and I’s trip to NYC you know we went to a Rangers/Islanders game at MSG. It was awesome and I’m pretty much a die hard hockey fan now. Even though while at the game I cheered for both the Rangers and the Islanders to the point that the guy in the Isles hate next to me probably wanted to punch me in the face. That part doesn’t matter. The part that does matter is DraftKings is giving you the chance to win $10,000. And all it takes is a $27 entry fee. You guys know your hockey, right? Of course you do and now so do I. Good luck beating me. Let’s drop the gloves (honkey lingo) and do it.
-$75K Light the Lamp Fantasy Hockey Contest
-$75,000 in total prizes, $10,000 to first place
-$27 entry fee, 3150 total entries
-Top 630 fantasy scores are paid out
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Fox News- Sure, people like pumpkin spice, but one woman has taken her obsession of #PSL to the extreme. Sherry Lynn Gustafson of Moline, Illinois has purchased 52 boxes of HyVee pumpkin spice latte mix, enough for an entire year’s worth of coffee drinks, reports WQAD 8. “I love pumpkin pie, and this is like pumpkin pie with whipped cream on it in a drink. So, I can drink as much I want, less calories too,” said Gustafson. While her homemade version may be healthier than a slice of traditional pumpkin pie, a grande Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks comes in at a hefty 380 calories, with 13 grams of fat. Gustafson began buying the drink from her local gas station but started making her own to save money. She told WQAD 8 she’s loved the drink for over 10 years and considers it an “addiction.” When shopping for her stock, she even began spacing out her trips. “I don’t want them to think I’m a nut, so I get a little bit at a time,” Gustafson says. The latte lover says she plans on purchasing at least 30 more boxes before the season is over.
Love it. I’m not sure what the logic behind buying all of those little packets of pumpkin spice lattes does but it’s a great idea. Maybe it means she won’t have to spend an arm and a leg at Starbucks everyday. She can simply make it from the comfort of her own home and enjoy the pumpkin goodness. Or maybe the grocery store ones are healthier. Either way, I have a confession to make. Maybe it’s not really a confession at all seeing as I am a white person but I’m a Recovering Blind Pumpkin Spice Hater. For a long period of my life I blindly hated the idea of pumpkin spice-flavored drinks and foods simply because of all of the fuss surrounding it whenever October rolled around. I didn’t even bother trying it. Maybe because deep down I knew I’d love something I had randomly hated for so long. But you know what? Then I tried it and I fucking loved it. There’s a reason people freak out about it. The hype is real. Now I’m all-in on pumpkin everything. Yes, I know. That makes me basic but I don’t give a fuck. It’s called living, that’s all I’m doing. Try it some time. I’ll throw down on at least a couple dozen pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks over the course of the holiday season and I couldn’t be happier about it. You wanna be one of those tough guys who makes fun of pumpkin spice-flavored everything and the people who obsess over them? That’s fine. I was you at one point. The position isn’t logical but I at least understand it. But I’ll tell you this, living a pumpkin-filled life is a lot more satisfying than being a h8er for no reason other than being a contrarian. At least try a pumpkin spiced latte one time. Do it for me. If you genuinely don’t like it then that’s fine but something tells me you’ll love it. Go ahead, join this side. It’s delicious over there.
So I see this story just about everywhere I’ve gone on the interwebs today. Hannibal Buress calling comedy legend Bill Cosby a rapist on stage and people freaking out about it. Just figured I’d put it in a blog so you can see what everybody’s talking about. I didn’t know about Cosby’s rape allegations because I don’t give a shit about Bill Cosby. I was too young to be into his show when I was little and all of the public appearances he makes nowadays are nothing but him spewing senile nonsense. I’m pretty sure Cosby’s show was a heart warming sitcom and people probably didn’t want to think that the guy whose name was on the show was like that. But here’s the thing about life in 2014, shit from the past is going to come out if you’re a celebrity. Always will. So maybe Bill Cosby’s rape allegations are from the past, that doesn’t make them any less terrible and definitely doesn’t mean people won’t want to bring them up. Hannibal said something shocking in a public forum and it shocked people that he would say it, but that doesn’t necessarily make them less true.
I took Hannibal’s and Googled “bill cosby rape” and this was the first article that popped up.
VICIOUS punch from the second guy. Absolutely vicious. I’m not gonna stand here and say the first guy deserved to get knocked the fuck out but he 100% did. Like what did he think was gonna happen? Him and his buddy taping are a couple of punks. Marco proved that those dudes ain’t really bout that life. If you go somewhere, slap a dude in the face with a piece of pizza and then continue to egg the dude on, you’re gonna get punched. You deserve to get punched. Violence isn’t normally the answer but it was the only choice in this scenario. It’s called learning a lesson. At some point you gotta learn that shoving pizza in another person’s face isn’t okay behavior. If it takes a knockout punch then so be it. The crazy part? We didn’t even see the punch. We just heard it and that was enough. We saw the aftermath. The dude was just laying on his side covered in blood. Nasty, nasty left from Marco.
Classic “I probably shouldn’t have fucked with that dude/I don’t know where I am” face
pictures via Gawker
Alright, what am I looking at there? And don’t you dare say Renee Zellweger because that’s not Renee Zellweger. Her driver’s license might say Renee Zellweger and her passport might say Renee Zellweger, but that’s not Renee Zellweger.
This is Renee Zellweger:
And to be clear, this isn’t me being weirded out because I thought Renee Zellweger was hot before. She’s never been smoking hot or anything (I thought she wasn’t bad looking in Me, Myself and Irene honestly). She was the cute chick from Jerry Maguire. I just don’t appreciate people being able to change their appearance so much that they no longer look like the person they used to be. Is that so crazy to think like that? I don’t think so. You shouldn’t be able to just lay down on a doctor’s table and have someone rearrange your face completely. It’s weird. It’s really weird. All I’m saying is we need to have at least a couple rules in this world and one of the should be you can’t COMPLETELY change what you look like. You wanna throw on a new pair of tits? Go right ahead. Maybe sculpt up that nose a little and get rid of some of the fat on your belly? I say God Bless. But you can’t change your face so no one knows who you are. That’s too much. Maybe she wasn’t happy with how she looked. Well tough shit. I don’t love the way I look but that’s life. You roll with what ya got.
Not to mention kind of a weird move for Renee, right? You’re famous, people know who you are, you have a distinctive look and you go and get major plastic surgery? Seems dumb to me. She’ll go to her next audition and people will be pumped that Renee Zellweger is coming in. Then she’ll walk through the door and people will have zero clue who she is. Interesting move for a famous actress to say the least.
PS- By the way, when it comes out that her drastic change in appearance is due to some disease that I don’t know about, whoops. That’s bound to happen because here at Barstool that’s what happens. So sorry in advance if Renee has some sort of skin disease. I didn’t really Google what happened to her face.