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Former Principal Of The Year Award Winner Gets Into Two DUI Wrecks In Two Different Counties In The Same Night

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Daily Mail- A high school’s new principal – who was named Principal of the Year in his former job – has resigned after being involved in two drunk-driving crashes in one night. Just two weeks before he was due to start at Milton High School in Milton, Georgia, 37-year-old Nathan Buhl was captured looking battered and bruised in two mug shots from different counties. He was arrested twice on charges including hit and run, DUI, reckless driving and failure to report striking an object following the crashes on Saturday night – and after three nights in two different jails, he resigned from his new job on Wednesday. On Saturday, he had left a home in north Forsyth County about 9.42pm when he allegedly hit a parked car with his own car. The owner saw the accident and called deputies with the tag number. When deputies in Forsyth ran the plate, they learned it was from Cherokee County and when they called the sheriff’s office, an investigator confirmed there had been another wreck with the same vehicle, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported. Authorities had found Buhl’s car off the road and lying on the driver’s side door between two trees. A tire was missing and there were car parts and debris strewn all over two lawns, CBS46 reported.

That’s a full night right there.  The craziest part?  Nathan says he doesn’t remember a single bit of it.  Now either he’s lying or he had the most epic night of black out drunkenness of all time.  We’ve all had black out nights.  It comes with the territory as a young person/old person/any person.  It just does.  Getting black out drunk isn’t something you plan on, it just sorta happens.  Shots are normally the cause.  If you’re lucky, your black out personality has the presence of mind to say “Alright, I’m a new person.  Trent is no longer here.  This is Blackout Trent.  Blackout Trent knows the drill. Let’s hail a cab, buy some beef jerky and pass out on the floor as soon as we walk through the door of the house.”  That’s pretty much best case scenario for a blackout personality.  Worst case scenario?  We found him.  His name is Blackout Nathan Buhl and he doesn’t give a FUCK.  Blackout Nathan Buhl says, “Lets fuck shit up.”  He gets into a DUI wreck, gets arrested and loves it so much that he does it again in another county.  I don’t blame Nathan Buhl in this scenario at all I place all the blame on Blackout Nathan Buhl.  He’s the real criminal.  The sooner people realize those actually are two different people the better the world will be.  Beef jerky and a taxi cab = good.  Multiple DUI and arrests in the same night = bad.

By trent posted July 31st, 2014 at 3:47 PM

The Des Moines Register Bringing Us The Hard-Hitting Angles On This Illegal UI Raffle Story We Need

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Des Moines Register- The university had announced that it would give away a free year of tuition to five students chosen from those who spent up to $175 on season tickets to football games. The potential legal problems include that state law says raffle tickets sold for charities may only be bought with cash, not credit cards, regulators said. Also, not all season-ticket packages cost the same, which could violate a uniform-price rule for raffles. The university suspended the promotion Wednesday evening, drawing groans from some Hawkeye fans. On Twitter, fans questioned how far the regulators could push their no-fun attitude. If the free-tuition drawing must be regulated as a raffle, they asked, wouldn’t the same rules apply to any giveaway inside a sporting event? After all, to have a chance at snagging those prizes, people have to buy tickets to the game. Hence the hot-dog-gun conundrum. David Werning, spokesman for the Department of Inspections and Appeals, said agency experts considered the issue and decided that a hot-dog gun is not a raffle. The airborne snacks are incidental to people’s decision to attend a game, he said. “You’re not buying a ticket just for the chance to catch a hot dog,” he said. Such promotions “are just basically to keep the crowd happy.”

Oh okay.  So we’re all just gonna lose our god damn minds over this ticket raffle thing and start talking about hot dog guns in the same breath as free tuition and season tickets to Iowa football.  Got it.  Listen, I’m just as annoyed with the suspension of the raffle as everybody else.  I thought it was a pretty good idea to try and make sure the student section at Kinnick was filled to the brim for every home game.  The university makes money, Kinnick gets a rowdy student section, five kids get free tuition for a year and everybody wins.  Awesome.  Seems simple enough.  I want that to happen too so in a weird way I’m on the same side as the hot dog people.  But if the University of Iowa wanted to do it they should’ve made sure it was legal first instead of running to the media and making a big show of it.  The Inspections and Appeals people look like the bad guys here because the law sucks but only because Gary Barta didn’t use his brain and get clearance first.  And this hot dog thing?  Come the fuck on.  Again, I’m on the side of “I want the raffle to happen” but this side needs to come up with a better comparison and arguing point than free tuition and hot dog guns.  Hot takes like you read about.

By trent posted July 31st, 2014 at 2:20 PM

Russian Soldier Can’t Stop Posting Selfies On Instagram And He Might’ve Screwed Over Putin Because Of It

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Daily Mail- Pictures which claim to be from a selfie-obsessed Russian soldier appear to reveal that he was inside Ukraine – suggesting Moscow has sent troops across the border.   Alexander Sotkin, who says he is a communications specialist on social media, has been posting selfies to his Instagram page showing him operating military equipment.  Several of the pictures, which were uploaded to Instagram appear to show that his location was inside the Ukrainian border. He has come under attack in his home country, where Russians have bombarded him on social media with messages criticising him for his actions. A picture on July 3, which appears to have been uploaded in Russia, claims to shows Sotkin working in what appears to be an armoured personnel carrier.  However, two days later, he posted another picture, which claims to be from inside the village of Krasnyi Derkul in Ukraine.  A following post on July 7 then appears to reveal he is back over the border in Russia.  Russia has not denied that Sotkin was across the border when he took the photographs.

Selfie game on a hundred thousand trillion from this Russian soldier.  Maybe the most unstoppable accomplishment/disaster in the history of selfies.  Giving up secret military positions because you’re so obsessed with pictures of yourself that you’d rather risk international chaos than not show your Instagram followers where you are.  Absolutely fantastic.  I can’t and won’t even pretend to know what’s going on with Russia/Ukraine/anywhere that’s not my living room but if a deadly conflict starts because of a a bunch of selfies, shut it down.  Shut the whole fucking thing down.  Time to hit restart on civilization.

How in the world do you explain this to Putin?  How?  He strikes me as a guy who thinks selfie is a kinky sex position or a shirtless dance ritual.  A guy who doesn’t know what technology is.  A meat and potatoes guy if there ever was one(and by that I mean a guy who eats raw meat with his hand and mixes in an occasional potato).  I pity the poor bastard who has to inform Putin that his secret military movements have been exposed by a soldier who is “selfie obsessed”.  That’ll go over real well.

PS- What’s with some of those glamour selfies by the way?  Is that a Russian soldier or every girl on Facebook who posts a picture every two minutes?  They always have captions like “I believe the strength within is the strength we show” or “Courage takes self and the hope you can to achieve” or some other platitudes that makes zero sense.

By trent posted July 31st, 2014 at 1:38 PM

Girl Gets TRUCKED By A Speeding Police Car And Somehow Isn’t Dead Immediately

 

TRUCKED. No other way yo explain what just happened to that chick. I don’t know how many police officers read Barstool but I want to put the word out to them.  And if any of you Stoolies have cop friends tell them for me.  Here’s the message: if cops ever come across a doughy blogger with a badly receding hairline and cankles who gets hit by a car like this lady got hit by a car, put a bullet in my brain.  End it all.  No questions asked.  You have my permission.  Have them refer back to this blog in court if they don’t believe you.  No way no how am I getting up after an event like that.  I’d lose my will to live as I was airborne.  The fact that this girl got up and wanted to keep on living is a testament to her.

 

And how about her grandma leaving her behind the minute she got hit by the car?  Ruthless.

By trent posted July 31st, 2014 at 12:40 PM

Better Know A Camel Toe

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Read the rest of this entry »

By trent posted July 31st, 2014 at 12:00 PM

When Attempting To Impress A Girl It’s Best To Not Tumble Over A Fence And Eat A Mouth Full Of Cement

 

Classic risk/reward scenario.  If the guy doesn’t attempt to jump over the wall like a fucking badass then the girl thinks she’s dating just some regular guy who likes to uses gates and doorways like a pussy.  But if he takes the risk and successfully jumps over super tall (short) fence then she knows he’s a fucking badass and there’s no way they’re not having rough animal sex at the end of the night.  It’s science.  This guy who apparently likes to dress like Grimace took that risk.  Sure, he failed and ate a substantial amount of cement on the landing but I can almost guarantee the attempt was enough to put flood water in the chick’s basement.  She now knows she’s dating a dare devil and chicks love dare devils.  Hopefully he pretended he didn’t even notice the giant gash across his forehead because then you’re even more of a badass.  All in all, worth it.

h/t imgur

By trent posted July 31st, 2014 at 11:00 AM

Golf Cart DUIs Are Without A Doubt The Best Kind Of DUIs (Best As In Worst)

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Press Citizen- A Waukon man faces his second drunken driving charge after police say he took a golf cart from a North Liberty bar. According to a criminal complaint from the Johnson County Sheriff’s Office, deputies responded to a medical call at 1950 Scales Bend Road at 10:52 p.m. Wednesday. While officers were investigating, a witness reported that Mitch A. Iverson, 25, was driving a Bobber’s Bar and Grill golf cart without permission, the complaint said. Iverson had glassy eyes, thick speech, and was unsteady on his feet, according to police. He admitted to drinking and indicated impairment during a field sobriety test, but refused a breath test. Iverson is charged with second offense drunken driving, an aggravated misdemeanor. He has a previous drunken driving charge from 2011.

This is one of those times where you realize life isn’t a movie.  Like at all.  You realize the things you see on a big screen are much different than how they translate to real life situations.  For instance, in a movie, stealing a golf cart to get home because you’re hammered and you don’t want to walk or call a cab is a riot fest.  Everybody’s laughing, everybody tells their friend “I’ve thought about doing that before!” and then everybody goes home happy because the golf cart scene was hilarious.  Not so much when it happens in real life.  Instead of people thinking it’s a hilariously clever idea they just think you’re an asshole because you were too lazy to walk home from the bar and resorted to theft.  So you decided to steal the bar’s golf cart and get home that way.  Now people are shaking their heads at you and your parents are terrified of the question “How’s Mitch doing nowadays?” from their lunch friends because your story is in the newspaper and on blogs about how big of a dumb ass you are.  It just fucking sucks and is the opposite of a movie.  Mitch’s line of thinking was sound if you ask me.  He knew he shouldn’t drive his car (good), he didn’t feel like walking all the way home (understandable), saw the golf cart (interesting), stole it (way better than walking!) and got caught (sucks).

By trent posted July 31st, 2014 at 10:15 AM

Remember When Iowa Said They Were Going To Give Away Free Tuition To 5 Random Students Who Bought Football Season Tickets? Well Turns Out They Can’t Because Its Illegal

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Press Citizen- The University of Iowa has suspended a promotion in which it promised to raffle off free tuition to five students who bought season tickets to Hawkeye football games. The decision, announced Wednesday evening, came after The Des Moines Register raised questions about the promotion’s legality. “I have suspended the promotion temporarily as we determine how to make sure that this promotion is in complete compliance,” Iowa Athletics Director Gary Barta said in a prepared statement. “In the end, our goal is to do everything possible to make sure that the student experience at Hawkeye football games is as fun and exciting as possible.” UI had said Tuesday that it would give away a year’s free tuition to five students picked from those who bought season tickets, which run up to $175 per year.The Register on Wednesday asked state gambling regulators about the contest; regulators said they had doubts about its legality. The university had said the top five prizes would each be worth about $8,000. Other prizes were to include $500 worth of textbooks and $1,000 Hy-Vee gift cards. David Werning, spokesman for the Iowa Department of Inspections and Appeals, said Wednesday that the promotion raised “a lot of issues.” Werning said the university has a license to hold gambling contests as a “social and charitable” organization. However, it must abide by laws regulating raffles, he said. For one thing, state law says charitable raffle tickets may only be bought with cash, Werning said. They may not be purchased with credit cards.

Whoops!  Sorry!  Those darn pesky laws.  Always taking the fun out of everything.  You can’t do this.  You can’t do that.  Red tape here.  Red tape there.  Fun haters, all of them.  It was embarrassing enough for Iowa to be forced to have a promotion like this but it looks even worse now that they can’t do it.  Hey you kids want free tuition?!  You do?!  Well then buy football season tickets and you have chance at it!  SIKE!  The worst.

My favorite part of this whole thing (and its a little sad at the same time) is that it seems like Gary Barta was so concerned about the lack of student ticket sales that he was sitting in his office brain storming ideas non-stop.  And then when he finally came up with this raffle idea he was so excited that instead of checking if it was legal or not he ran right to the press and announced it.  Even the Inspections and Appeals guy was like, “Dude, fucking check with me before you announce the idea.”

By trent posted July 31st, 2014 at 9:29 AM
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