I gotta be honest. I’m not sure which one of them is hotter at this point. Jason or Amanda. Yeah, Amanda has a slamming body, a face to match and, given her history, she likes to take sexy Instagram pictures. Not to mention that’s such a Fuck Me dress I can barely stand it. Her prowess in the bedroom is likely that of a wild animal. But look a Daddy Duf! Skinny as a twig and rocking a new haircut. He’s like a new man. I admit I miss the old fat Duf but his sex appeal has skyrocketed lately. Then wrap him in a plaid jacket? Forget about it. Duf is a 10.
PS- I’m not even sure Duf plays golf anymore. Can’t remember the last time he teed it up and I don’t care. If his life now is parading around town with his smoking hot wife and going to parties I wouldn’t play golf anymore either.
That’s as good as it gets right there folks. I can’t stop laughing. Tears of joy streaming down my face. If that Vine doesn’t make you giggle then I don’t know what to tell you. Elton John just tumbling over in his chair. Poor Elton was looking for something, anything, to grab onto and it just wasn’t there. Taking a couple chairs with him as he went. Down he goes. Worth 450 million dollars and knighted by the Queen of England but can’t get a goddamn chair that works.
PS- What’s with the sound in that Vine? Was somebody fucking while filming that? Bizarre.
NOW EVERYBODY FROM THE 313 PUT YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN HANDS UP AND FOLLOW ME!
Why the random 8 Mile reference? Because the way I felt while watching Keith Olbermann tear down the court system, the NFL and Roger Goodell’s handling of the Ray Rice situation just now is the same way I felt the first time I watched B-Rabbit rip apart Papa Doc and Free World in the final battle scene of the movie. You wanna talk about ripping people to shreds. Jesus. He even went down the line and tore people a new one individually like B-Rabbit. The part where he called Roger Goodell an enabler of men who beat women is sure to get some run. Doesn’t matter if you agree with all of it or some of it or if you hate Olberman’s guts, you have to at least agree with parts of it. There’s two avenues this story can go and only one of them is true. Either Roger Goodell told the truth and hadn’t seen the elevator tape before today or he saw the tape a while back and still decided to only give Ray Rice a two game suspension. The former would show a gross negligence in getting all of the facts before making a ruling and the latter would show Roger Goodell is a monster and should step down effective immediately. One of those outcomes is true and they both depress the shit outta me.
The sobering part at the end is when he’s talking about a boycott. That’s the part where all of us start to feel like the assholes. Everything before that? I’m in on. I do think Roger Goodell should resign and anybody who (allegedly) covered this situation up needs to step down from their positions as well. But I’m sitting here writing this blog with Monday Night Football on in the background. That’s the kicker. The NFL has us all by the balls and we’ll watch almost no matter what. Even after watching Ray Rice gruesomely knock his then-fiancee-and-now-wife unconscious. Sigh.
Tough day for punters and kickers. First we had the Cleveland punter taking a foot to the face and now this. The Carolina kicker standing in a sea of band members getting no respect while he tries to warm up. And when I say “tough day for punters and kickers” I of course mean tougher than usual because on a good day they get called huge pussies by the rest of the football community and its fans.
PS- LOVE the saxophone player going HAM right in the kicker’s face at the end. Exactly how I pictured a saxophone player behaving.
IN THE FAAAAAAAAACE!
Like being a punter wasn’t already bad enough, here’s a face full of cleat.
Love it. Maybe the funniest GIF of all time. Just a couple of dudes talking smack about an ex-girlfriend. I believe the terminology is STOP THE FIGHT. Rory already won this break up a million times over and now he’s doing this. Rubbing salt in the wound and it’s fantastic to watch. It really is. You think Rory gives a fuck that the cameras caught him making fun of his ex-fiancee? Not a chance. Honestly I bet he waited until he knew the cameras were on him and then was like, “Hey Sergio, let’s do that thing where we make fun of that poor sap Wozniacki.” Absolutely relentless move from the guy who already has the world by the balls. Not only did Rory go on (and is still on) the best stretch of his career after the break up but now he’s making fun of Wozniacki. Part of me feels bad for Wozniacki at this point but then I really don’t. Rory’s World.
PS- Fucking Sergio. Such a squid. Just happy to be in on the joke with Rory even though he for sure hates Rory for winning everything instead of him.
Jason Dufner stays winning. Simple as that. Even when he’s sidelined by injury his life is still the best life in the world. Daddy Duf can look out his window and see his SMOKE wife catching rays next to the pool, toss in a dip and remember, “Oh yeah. I’m…..I’m hittin’ that.” The rule, as always, is it’s great to be Jason Dufner/to be a rich fat guy with money because you can land a hot wife no matter what you look like.
Down goes the golf volunteer! Looked like he got hit by a sniper sitting in the gallery. No way he didn’t break his face into a million pieces. No way no how. Face plant city. The reaction from the crowd was priceless. ”OHhhhhhhh that guy might need facial reconstruction surgery/be dead” Classic. Nothing ruins a peaceful Saturday of volunteering at a golf tournament faster than running your face into the ground at full speed on national TV.