Alright so they didn’t call them dirty Europeans but that would’ve been awesome. I added that. And I alllllllmost made it a full day of blogging without posting an ice bucket challenge video but I wanted to post this one because I’m all jacked up about the Ryder Cup. It’s still a little over a month away but whatever. Even without Tiger and our boy Dufner I’m stoked. I also like that the shit talking has already started with the US team calling out the Europeans. Let’s fucking do this. I hope there’s some punches thrown in Scotland a month from now. Maybe we’ll get some bad blood brewing between Rickie and Rory and really set the golf world on fire. We can only hope.
Shirtless Bubba Watson. Classic.
Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Cut A Hole In His Shoe And Put An iPod In It So He Could Shoot Upskirt Videos?
AUGUST 21–A Florida man cut a small hole in the front of his shoe, inserted an iPod, and then went to Walmart and recorded “upskirt” videos, according to police who arrested the pervy auteur. According to an arrest report, cops were dispatched to a Walmart in Sanford When officers arrived at the store, customer Lillie Kent told them that she was shopping in the toilet paper aisle when she noticed a man “standing relatively close behind her.” Kent added that the man “appeared to be attempting to sneak up behind her.” After the man briefly walked away from Kent, he returned to following her and shadowed the woman all the way to the checkout line, cops reported. Kent told police that she had initially “observed a hole in the top of one of the man’s shoes but didn’t think anything of it at the time.” However, at the checkout line, Kent confronted the man, who was carrying no merchandise to be purchased. She demanded to see his shoes. He refused and walked away. “Kent advised she began yelling,” police reported. After being confronted by “an unknown man” who asked the male suspect for the camera, the alleged voyeur removed the iPod from his shoe.
First things first, kinda looks like my boss right? Or am I crazy? I think it looks a lot like him. Maybe Pres with a hint of downs or something. Anyway. Second, GENIUS plan by this guy. I really mean that. He’s really onto something here. Nobody and I mean nobody looks at another person’s shoes. Ever. Unless you’re wearing something flashy or are tap-dancing nobody is going to look at your shoes and examine them for a camera. I’m actually shocked the guy got caught and now here we are talking about him on the blog. Although it sounds like he got a little greedy and was basically all up in the chick’s ass while trying to get video up her skirt. Gotta play it cool. Every dude has experienced trying to look up a girl’s skirt from time to time. It’s human nature. You just want a peak. All in good clean, fun. The weirdos are the ones who try and video it, but hey, what can ya do. The best advice a guy can give to somebody trying to look up a skirt is two things: 1) Position yourself correctly (most important) and 2) let it happen naturally. This guy fucked up when he ran up on the woman and stood two inches away from her. Amateur hour dude. Looking desperate gets you caught 100 times out of 100. The move here is speed up a little in front of her, anticipate where she’s headed next and make her have to walk by you. Easy as pie. How do you anticipate where she’s going? All feel. The great ones have feel. If you don’t have feel, you end up walking right up behind them and getting arrested. This guy doesn’t have it. Get a new hobby.
PS- Curious move doing this at a Wal Mart. I’ve never been at a Wal Mart and said to myself, “Man, I’d really like to know what she’s got going on up under there.” Not once.
Get it white boy! Get it! This is your moment. Soak it in. What’s that old saying? Dance like no one’s watching? This guy took it to heart. All eyes are on you. They’re feeding off of your energy and…….they’re just staring at you like you’re the psycho white devil who’s ruining their concert. Forget them. They suck. What, are Indian people too cool to dance at their own concerts? Well fuck that. White people don’t have time to act too cool and reserved. We’ll get drunk, hit the ground running and jellyfish dance right in your face. Ain’t no party like a white guy awkwardly dancing while large groups of Indian people watch party because a white guy awkwardly dancing while large groups of Indian people watch party don’t stop. Or maybe the white guy got a stronger batch of molly all of the people watching were waiting for theirs to kick in. Hard to tell.
The only thing that would’ve made the video better was if the India kid with huge hands came out of nowhere and started shaking those over-sized oven mitts like tambourines. Then it’d really be a party.
Wired 2 Fish- Steve Pasker of Waterloo, Iowa, was the top scoring player in FLW Fantasy Fishing and won the grand prize of $10,000 after the conclusion of last week’s world championship of bass fishing, the Forrest Wood Cup on Lake Murray presented by Walmart. Pasker scored 12,081 points throughout the seven event season, narrowly edging out Michael Austin of Elmhurst, Pa., by just 2 points. Austin earned $2,000 for his runner-up finish. Pasker started playing by simply signing up and selecting a team at FantasyFishing.com. “This is awesome,” said Pasker. “I didn’t think I had any chance after the first tournament of the year at Lake Okeechobee. I didn’t have a good finish at all in that tournament, but the next six events I did pretty well in. “My strategy for each event was to target the local anglers, or the guys who had a lot of experience on the lake,” Pasker continued. “I would try to stay away from the highest-salaried anglers, but I usually had Cody Meyer on my team for every tournament. I watch all of the pre-tournament videos that Rob Newell films for FantasyFishing.com as well. They are definitely a huge help.” Pasker said that he planned to pay off his truck with his winnings and that he was going to stick the rest away in a savings account. Several other winners from California to Michigan to North Carolina took home cash and prizes throughout the season. FLW Fantasy Fishing is free to play, but fans can gain a valuable edge with Member’s Advantage. Member’s Advantage is a unique tool that offers additional resources and information, including lake reports, local finder and pundit picks. An added benefit to purchasing Member’s Advantage is a subscription to FLW Bass magazine and the perks of becoming an FLW member including an FLW hat and Strike King crankbait, members-only tackle giveaways and VIP access at all FLW Tour events.
Who knew there was an underworld of fishing fantasy sports? I sure as hell didn’t. Where you at DraftKings? You’re missing out on a section of that market that apparently exists. $10,000 is nothing to sneeze at. I would’ve never guessed in a million years that the 1st place prize for fishing fantasy sports would be that high. I figured a new tackle box, a couple of lures and a $5 gift card to Fin & Feather would be the max. It sounds like the guys involved take it pretty super seriously too. The quote from the guy who won about avoiding high-salaried anglers and watching game film before every event was laugh out loud funny. All I could picture was a Bill Belichick/Tom Thibodeau set up in the guy’s basement with an old projector and him smoking endless cigarettes as he watched game tape of last week’s fishing event. Looking for every possible edge while his annoyed wife asks him to do household chores and him yelling at her stuff like, “I’ll take out the garbage later, I have to study this guy reeling in a 45 pound flounder with his stink bait crank bait angle reel XP 720*. I’m worthless without my preparation. THE FLW FISHING TITLE IS MINE THIS YEAR.” But who I am to make fun of a guy for his weird hobbies? Hard to throw stones when I’m the same guy who watched last season of the Bachelorette and got legit angry when the bitch on the show made fun of my home state. And there wasn’t a five-figure cash prize at the end of that like there is here, only my father’s shame.
*I made every bit of that up. I don’t know the first thing about fishing.
PS- The guy who won is from Iowa so we shouldn’t be totally surprised that he won. Not that we know a lot about fishing here but we’re all winners. It’s in our genes.
John Daly Recorded A Country Song Called “Hit It Hard” Because The Guy Is An Endless Barrel Of Talent
I searched far and wide for an embeddable version of the song but couldn’t find it. You can listen to the hit song here.
John mother fucking Daly. What can’t this guy do? Just when you think he’s done it all he pops up and surprises us. An all time golf talent, an all time party animal, an all time gambler, cigarette smoking champion, fashion guru and now a country music star. He’s like the Leonardo da Vinci of our time. A jack of all trades. Anything he does turns to pure gold. That song is straight fire. It works on a few levels. It’s rough and rugged (classic JD) but it’s also inspirational. Yes, John. I will continue to Hit It Hard just like you. I ain’t slowing down either. No laying up or holding back for this blogger. I’ve never been more jacked up and motivated in my life. Is it too late for a Song Of The Summer nominee? Because that needs to be #1. I’m not even a big country guy but I loved every second of that song. You’ll never hear that many golf puns brillianty weaved into a song ever again. And the part about lawyers and shrinks spending money like his ex-wife? I haven’t audibly let out so many ooooohs and ahhhhhhs since the hey day of Lloyd Banks AKA The PLK. Absolutely amazing.
Impressive. How many steps/dribbles do you think it’d take you to get down an entire basketball court? I’m saying no less than 20 for myself. No joke. 20 sounds about right for a unathletic person like me. I have incredibly small strides and I really suck at basketball. And for this Greek dude to do it in two dribbles? Mind bottling. Obviously these guys are freaks of nature (after all the guy’s nickname is The Greek Freak) to begin with but covering that much ground is absurd. And he didn’t just lay it up or throw in a floater. The guy threw it the fuck down like it was nothing. What’s next? Where do we go from here? 1 dribble to cover the court? I wouldn’t put it out of the realm of possibility that’s for sure. People are gonna say “Oh well that’s easy to do when he traveled.” First of all, pretty sure he didn’t. And second of all, who gives a fuck? Rules or no rules, the guy went from one foul line to the other end of the court and got close enough to dunk in two dribbles. That’s ridiculous.