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Dustin Johnson Talking About His Golf Swing Taking Us Into The Weekend

 

Have a great weekend everybody!

By trent posted August 1st, 2014 at 4:25 PM

You Think This 85 Year Old Guy Who Hopped On The Highway On His Wheelchair Scooter Gives A Fuck?

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Mirror- A daredevil pensioner trundles along the hard shoulder of a busy motorway – on his 12mph mobility scooter. The 85-year-old was caught on camera on the M1 steering one-handed, oblivious as 40-ton juggernauts thundered by. Trucker Steve Saxon, whose colleague filmed the man, said: “I’ve been driving lorries since 1986 and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as bizarre.” The pensioner, whose name has not been revealed, joined the motorway at junction 31 near Sheffield, one of the motorway’s most congested stretches. He was eventually escorted up the junction 32 slip road by a police officer on a motorcycle. Steve added: “He was casually dressed and quite relaxed. He was completely unfazed about the traffic.

 

Nope.  He doesn’t.  Not a single fuck given here.  Because once you pass the age of 80 everything melts away, including laws and the realization that taking a scooter that travels at 12 MPH isn’t a great idea.  What do you mean I can’t take my scooter on the highway?  Don’t you know I’m passed the age where I care about what anybody has to think?  He’s probably most confused as to why there’s a cop escorting him off the highway.  Ridin’ dirty like you read about.  In this case that means he has a big ol’ dump in his depends.  Causally dressed and quite relaxed.  That’s what the article says.  Unfazed by the cars whizzing by him at speeds 5x as fast as he was going.  God forbid I live to be 85 (sounds terrible) but if I do, I want to be this guy.  Free as a bird.

By trent posted August 1st, 2014 at 3:56 PM

Dude Rips Up His Neighbor’s Garden In The Middle Of The Night For No Apparent Reason

 

First of all, ignore the first part of that video where it asks if you can help find this guy.  If you recognize him, stay quiet.  He needs this.  He needs to rip up his neighbors garden more than you need anything.  This right here is what scares me about all of the getting old and having a wife and a family stuff.  Repressed anger.  I don’t totally know that’s what’s going on here but it has to be.  He hates his life so much and is so made at where his life has led him that he needs to let his anger out somehow.  He can’t lash out at his wife or kids because then he’ll end up with bracelets and a mug shot.  So what does he do to let the anger out?  He wakes up in the middle of the night and rips apart gardens.  That’s what he does.  Slowly opening the valve of anger and letting in seep out slowly instead of all at once and killing multiple people.  This guy isn’t a criminal.  If anything he’s a responsible adult who has learned techniques on how to deal with repressed anger. Even if that means tearing apart shrubbery in the middle of the night for pretty much no real reason.

By trent posted August 1st, 2014 at 2:30 PM

Dustin Johnson Suspended 6 Months From The PGA Tour For Positive Cocaine Test

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SI- Dustin Johnson is serving a six-month suspension from the PGA Tour after testing positive for cocaine, a source has told Golf.com. According to the source, Johnson has failed three drug tests: one for marijuana in 2009 and two for cocaine, in 2012 and 2014. He was previously suspended for the 2012 failed test, but that suspension was never made public. Under the PGA Tour’s drug-testing policies, the Tour is not required to announce any disciplinary actions against players who test positive for recreational drugs. Johnson announced on Thursday that he is taking a leave of absence from professional golf, effective immediately. “I will use this time to seek professional help for personal challenges I have faced,” he said in a statement issued by his management company. “By committing the time and resources necessary to improve my mental health, physical well-being and emotional foundation, I am confident that I will be better equipped to fulfill my potential and become a consistent champion.” The PGA Tour released a curt statement wishing Johnson well and saying it looked forward to his return. When asked directly about Johnson’s failed drug tests and suspension, Ty Votaw, executive vice president of the PGA Tour, said Friday that the Tour would have no further comment. Johnson’s conduct has long been a topic of conversation among close observers of the Tour. He is often seen in bars near his home in Jupiter, Fla., and is also known to have had a sexual indiscretion with at least one wife of a PGA Tour player. The suspension means Johnson, 30, will miss the PGA Championship — the season’s final major takes place next week in Louisville, Ky. — and also the PGA Tour’s lucrative FedEx Cup playoff series. Johnson’s agent, David Winkle of Hambric Sports Management, notified the PGA of America on Thursday that his client will also not be competing in the Ryder Cup in Scotland this September. Earlier this week, when asked if Johnson was about to be suspended by the PGA Tour, Winkle texted an SI reporter, “Don’t believe everything you hear.”

 

Annnnnd there it is.  Whoops!  The ol’ “I’m gonna take a leave of absence but only because I tested positive for cocaine” excuse.  Dustin has been tip toeing around the reason for taking some time off and here it is.  Nose candy.  We all knew it was something.  You don’t just walk away from playing professional golf because you’re emotionally unstable.  He can’t stop won’t stop doing blow.  You always heard rumblings that that was the case but here’s actual proof.  Done for 6 months.  I still say Paulina had something to do with this.  No way she wasn’t blowing lines with him.  No way no how.  She loves to party.  He loves to party.  Disaster from the start.  It sucks too because I like watching Dustin play golf.  Oh well.  Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

The most interesting part is where the article says he had “sexual indiscretion with at least one wife of a PGA player”.  That’s pretty crazy.  Wonder whose and how many.  For his sake hopefully it was Amanda Dufner but that can’t be possible, right?  Nobody steps out on The Duf.  And “at least”?  Now all I want to know which PGA Tour wives Dustin has been slamming behind the scenes.  Couldn’t care less about his cocaine habit.

By trent posted August 1st, 2014 at 1:14 PM

Better Know A Camel Toe

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By trent posted August 1st, 2014 at 12:20 PM

Here’s A Nightmare-Looking Possum Terrorizing A Minor League Game In The Quad Cities

 

Yikes.  How fucking ugly is that thing?  Gross.  I’m not sure I knew what a possum looked like up until about 4 minutes ago when I saw the video.  Nightmare type of shit.  Like if a rat snuck into a radiation lab and came out with super powers.  I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere near it.  Just let it run around until it leaves the stadium on its own terms.  Maybe shoot it if someone has their gun handy.  And how about the genius who threw the garbage can over it and started celebrating like he did something right.  Good idea pal, now what?  Didn’t really think that through.  It took a guy with zero fear to grab that fucking thing by the tail and haul it away.  There’s two types of people in this world.  Pussies like me who sit behind a keyboard all day and won’t touch wild animals in any situation.  And then there’s actual men like that guy who will lift up a garbage can, grab a wild possum by the tail and hold it up like a trophy.

By trent posted August 1st, 2014 at 11:30 AM

Burglar Smokes The Ashes Of A Guy’s Dead Wife Because He Thought They Were Drugs

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Metro- Citronelle, Alabama, resident and war veteran Phillip McMullen was out of town staying with friends when someone broke into his house through a window. The burglar stole some 15 items, including fishing rods, a knife and a chainsaw, before coming across the ashes of Mr McMullen’s deceased wife. ‘He ransacked my house, tried to break in my gun safe, which they weren’t able to, they even took my wife’s ashes off my headboard, strewed them around, looked like they tried to smoke some of them or something,’ Mr McMullen told FOX10 News. I guess they figured out this stuff ain’t worth smoking, so they threw it up underneath one of my toolboxes.’ He added: ‘It’s hard to put in words, it makes me want to fight again, and I don’t like to fight.’ Mr McMullen and his wife Christine were married for 22 years and the former soldier says he’s not hoping the burglar can be caught so justice can be served.

Think of a worse thing to come home to than your wife’s ashes smoked by a burglar, you can’t.  Well actually we can because the article says the dude threw it up after he tried to smoke it.  So that’s a nightmare.  It’s a tragedy.  It’s all of the words we use in a situation like this.  But hey, it happens.  Drug addicts break into people’s houses and try to smoke human ashes (I made that up but it’s clearly true).  I’ve always been on the opinion that it’s kind of weird to keep the ashes of loved ones around anyway. So I’m not saying it’s this guy’s fault but it kind of is.  Take the ashes and spread them on a beach or on a mountain range or something.  Make it memorable.  Simply putting them on a dresser is lame and kind of asking to be smoked by a burglar.  More importantly, all I could think about when reading that article was How High.  Great movie.  One of my favorite stoner movies of all time.  I’m not promoting drug use but if you haven’t smoked a blunt and watched How High, what are you doing with your life?  The main point of this blog is to say, hey, if you haven’t seen How High and have nothing else to do this weekend, at least think about it.

 

By trent posted August 1st, 2014 at 11:00 AM

Rugby Fan Whips The Crowd Into A Frenzy With His Michael Jackson Dance Moves

 

Remember the Eminem song from a few years ago “Lose Yourself” that’s used in almost every pump up montage ever now?  Well this rugby fan is a living embodiment of that song.  What are you going to when you have your one moment to shine?  When there lights are their brightest?  You only get one shot.  The JumboTron shows you and you have two options: Laugh, nudge the person next to you and let the moment pass.  Or you can do what this guy did.  Take advantage of it and show the world what a fucking boss you are.  The time has finally arrived to prove to everybody that all of those hours upon hours of practicing MJ’s dance moves weren’t for nothing.  His moment.  His time.  And he crushed it.  Crushed it as much as a person can crush anything.  The finale where he ripped off his shirt and had the girls going crazy and wanting his hairy body on top of them?  That felt spontaneous but that’s what great entertainers do.  They feel the moment and react.  Always present.  Always bringing it.  Instincts through the roof.  Feels good knowing there’s still greatness amongst us.

By trent posted August 1st, 2014 at 9:55 AM
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