Where will they be next?! It’s like real life Where’s Waldo. Except instead of a looking for a guy in a red and white striped sweater we’re looking for a skinny Jason Dufner with a new haircut and his hot wife. Wherever the hottest event is, The Dufners will be there. First they were in Dubai dressed to 9s for a holiday party then they were in NYC sitting court side at The Garden with 50 Cent and hanging out with Dirk. Now last night they were in Cleveland hanging with LeBron after the Cavs/Nets game. I’m pumped to see where they end up next. I’m officially living vicariously through The Dufners. I’ll never meet 50 Cent or LeBron or win a major or have sex with Amanda Dufner. Daddy Duf is living my life for me and I couldn’t be happier. The first time I said “I think Dufner’s life now is just jet setting across the country with his smoke wife and no longer playing golf” it was a joke. I’m not so sure anymore. I respect the shit out of it though.
PS- I envision LeBron saying to one of his lackey’s “Who was that girl I just took a picture with? Get her number for me” and them being like “That was Jason Dufner’s wife. He was in the picture too.”
Have a great weekend everybody!
Boom roasted. And I mean actually roasted. Not the Boom Roasted like Michael Scott from The Office running around fake roasting people. That’s a great cartoon. Simple and to the point. I respect the shit outta cartoonists (is that the right word? That doesn’t sound right for some reason) who can draw up one of these and hammer home the point. All in a little drawing and maybe a few letters. People way smarter and way more talented than I’ll ever be do stuff like this. Awesome. Well done sir or ma’am.
Listen, I know Paulina has settled down (for now). She’s pregnant, her baby daddy Dustin Johnson is supposedly no longer doing lines of blow on a regular basis and she seems to have things headed in the right direction. So what I want to do is wish her a happy birthday by putting together a collection of pictures of her wild and crazy days and take a look at just how hot she was, is and will likely continue to be going forward.. Alright, let’s do it. Happy 26th birthday Paulina! Hope it’s a good one!
(At least I think she’s 26? Nobody seems to know. She’s like a pitcher from the Dominican)
Happy Friday! Just a little tear jerker of a story from Stephen Colbert while the weekend is just a few short hours away. You guys sick of the Colbert clips yet? Oh you are? Well that’s too damn bad. Because I watched the Colbert Report and enjoyed every damn second of it. You’ve seen the words “comedy genius” and “comedy icon” thrown around by a couple of the other bloggers already and you know what? They’re exactly right. I don’t care if you love Colbert or hate him (and some of you REALLY hate him), at the end of the day he was great at pretending to be somebody else. From him running laps around hapless politicians, parodying a character for 9 seasons while almost never breaking character and beyond. But here’s my favorite moment from Stephen Colbert. A tribute to his Mother. An obviously bitter sweet moment for Stephen but, true to form, he’s able to mix in a little comedy to paint a larger picture. I’ll miss the Colbert Report dearly. God speed, Stephen. See you on CBS old chap.
Is it weird my first thought was, “Man, I really miss high school dances” after watching that video of Amber Rose grinding her giant ass on Chris Brown? Well if that’s the wrong thought to have then I don’t want to be right. High school dances were the best. You’d get all dressed up, take stupid pictures in weird poses at your parents house, go to some stupid dinner but then it’s dance time. Time to strut your stuff and get an erection while dancing to Lil Jon songs. You put up with all the pictures and parents and bullshit because you know there’s a glorious light at the end of the tunnel. That light being you grinding your high school boner on the back of some girl in a dress her Mom helped her pick out while everybody on the dance floor screams “To the windoooooooooow! To the wallllllllll!” at the top of their lungs. Getting so damn low you were sore the next day. Getting so damn low you could’ve won every limbo competition in the world at that moment. It was a raucous occasion. I think high school dances were the best things from those days. Well that’s not true. The discovery of cheap beer and low-grade weed was the best. But high school dances were fucking awesome. I used to leave those cafeterias-converted-to-a-make-shift-dance-floor in fiery ruins and stained with sweat. I left it all out on the field back in those days. Now I just sit on my couch and rest beers on my belly.
PS- The fact that chicks are still all over Chris Brown proves that money and fame trump everything and I mean everything.
FUCK FREE WORLD! 3-1-3! FRUCK FREE WORLD! 3-1-3!
Ernie Johnson. As white as white can be. Not gonna lie, he started off pretty well. Much better than anybody expected I’m sure. Had Nicki and the whole Inside The NBA crew going crazy. Nicki might even let him eat her ass like a cupcake now. That’s gotta be an awesome feeling. Having black people go crazy with OHHHHHHHHHHs and AHHHHHHHHHHs after you drop a sick rhyme. That’s like a dream of mine. I used to watch Freestyle Friday every week on 106 and Park and think that was the coolest shit since sliced bread. Like when B-Rabbit took down Free World with his Leave It To Beaver verse? Goosebumps everywhere. It’s either dropping a slick rhyme or posterizing somebody on a massive dunk. Those are probably tied for the best feeling in the world and it helps that black people lose their goddamn minds on both occasions. Makes you feel like king of the castle. EJ’s rap went off the rails when he went for a second rhyme but the first one was hot fire.