Happy Thursday. Enjoy your coffee. NSFW link click here.
Golf- The sightings have the ring of myth. One night he is at his favorite bar in Dallas, So & So’s, sitting in the usual corner booth ordering bottles of Patron for a small entourage. Then he is in a penthouse at the Dallas Ritz-Carlton, playing a private, big-money card game. Next thing you know, he is on the range at the Madison Club in La Quinta, Calif., or hitting balls at TPC Craig Ranch outside Dallas. Then he is vacationing in Belize with a comely companion. Or beachcombing in Santa Barbara. Or at Costco in La Quinta with hair grown down to the middle of his back. Anthony Kim has become golf’s yeti, an elusive figure who is the source of endless conjecture. What we know for sure is that Kim, 29, has not teed it up at a PGA Tour event in more than 28 months. Once considered the future of U.S. golf, he is now estranged from the game that brought him fame and fortune. His handlers at IMG rarely speak to him. In April, golfchannel.com asked Kim’s agent, Clarke Jones, about his client’s whereabouts. The best Jones could come up with? “He’s not living under a bridge, he’s not living in a box.” The players on Tour wonder if they will ever cross paths with Kim again. ”What have you heard about him?” asks Phil Mickelson, a onetime mentor. “We used to text back and forth, but I haven’t had any contact with him in, oh, a year and a half.”
You can read the whole thing here.
So a couple people sent me this and I finally got around to reading it. I normally don’t do the “You should read this long form piece” recommendation. Mostly because since I’ve become a blogger my brain no longer has the patience for long form pieces. Sad to say but that’s the truth. My brain is oatmeal at this point. That’s just the way it goes. But since people sent it to me I wanted to read it and it was actually really good. If you’re a golf fan you should for sure read it. If you’re not a golf fan but you remember the name Anthony Kim you should read it too. If you just like reading sports profiles you should read it. Just read it. It’s super interesting.
I honestly can’t believe that Anthony Kim is 29 years old now. Of all of the interesting factoids in that article, and there were a whole bunch of them, that stuck out to me the most. It seems like just yesterday young(er) AK and his blinged-out belt buckles were tearing up the Tour and he was primed to be the next hot shot American golfer. He was young and had an electric personality. And then he just disappeared and was never heard from again. I didn’t know about all the behind-the-scenes partying and I for sure didn’t know about the 20 million dollar insurance policy. To me, it sounds more like a mental issue than a physical one. It’s a sad story but not one we haven’t heard before in a sports over and over again. Guy has success earlier in his career than he probably should, can’t handle it, thinks he’s the king of the world and doesn’t need to practice so he stops focusing on his game and focuses more on booze and chasing skirts and before you know it, they’re gone. Poof. Just like that. John Daly has said that’s what happened to him. He won too early in his career and it sent him down the wrong path. JD never took years off (he had a suspension here and there) like Kim but his early success and subsequent partying derailed his career for the most part.
Also, AK being reluctant to come back only makes it worse. The longer he stands on the sidelines the more scrutiny there will be if he ever decides to come back which I hope he does. Not to mention the longer it’ll take for the other pros on the Tour to welcome him back. The dude had a truckload of talent and was a super entertaining personality for golf. Whether he still has either of those things would remain to be seen. He was super awesome in the 2008 Ryder Cup and he hauled in almost $5 million that year from tournaments alone. Then he signed a deal with Nike. That type of talent doesn’t just disappear. Or if he never wants to play golf again and instead wants to ride around in his drop top Bentley and cash that insurance policy and ride of into the sunset who could blame him? But I hope he comes back because that’d be an awesome story. I’m rambling at this point. But you should read the article. It’s good. Yes, it’s long (even longer than this blog), but good.
PS- Fucking Sergio. Every other golfer mentioned in the article said things like “I haven’t heard from him” or “No comment”. But then then when Sergio was asked he had a condescending remark about why Kim fell off the map. What an asshole.
EXTREME! DASH CAMS FOR EVERYBODY! You can’t hope for a much better outcome if you’re the guy on the motorcycle. Well other than not hitting the cars at all. He did a perfect front flip and when he landed he was sitting perfectly upright just enjoying the ride. He probably didn’t know where he was but that’s beside the point. Pretty badass after the fact. Comes away with a few bumps and bruises but also an awesome tape of himself almost dying. And here we are again, dash cams are the shit.
PS- Don’t worry, he survived. At least that’s what the video says. If he didn’t, whoops.
YEP. NFL scandal this. Reggie Bush that. Jamies Winston blah blah blah. Domestic violence. Child abuse. None of that stuff matters. Let’s focus on the real things in life. Like how fucking hot Jaclyn Swedberg is. She’s really fucking hot. That should be the hard hitting issue of the day. Everything else is just pointless noise.
She’s a goddamn 12.
‘You’d be pretty much dead if you fall down’: Hiker says couple placed baby on edge of cliff to snap a souvenir photo pic.twitter.com/IUqofcJWgy
— Chris Kitching (@chriskitching) September 16, 2014
Metro- This is the shocking moment a baby was photographed crawling perilously close to a 2,000ft cliff edge. Hiker Fred Sirevag was stunned by the scene at Preikestolen – known as Pulpit Rock – in Forsand, Norway. He took a snap of the infant crawling just inches away from a deadly 1,982ft drop while adults stood back and took photos as a souvenir. Mr Sirevag’s image was quickly circulated online and in the Norwegian press. He said: ‘I saw the mother and she was putting the baby down close to the edge and backing up a little bit so the other lady could get a clean photo of the baby and the Pulpit Rock in the background. ‘It’s a straight drop. You don’t want to go too close because it’s pretty scary. You’d be pretty much dead if you fall down there.’
Ohhhhhhh here they come. That sound you hear is every other parent in the world pulling down their pants, whipping out their judgement dicks and pissing all over these parents for what they did. Everybody needs to just shut the fuck up. Keep your eyes on your own damn paper and worry about your own kids. So what if these parents let their kid crawl to the edge of a 2,000 foot cliff? Is the baby still alive? Yes so chill out. People are acting like these parents dragged their baby up to the cliff against its and then punted it off the side and laughed and laughed and laughed. Gimme a break. There’s nothing other parents love more than judging the performance of other parents. In every comment section of every news site that ran this story is endless comments about how terrible these parents are. All the while I guarantee their kids are off turning tricks and sucking dicks for heroin. The only set of parents who can throw stones at these people are the ones who have never made a bad decision during their parenting careers. Boom, that’s a paraphrased Bible verse bitches.
Daily Mail- The most memorable moments of Joanne Choo’s life have all featured 11 secret herbs and spices. The 29-year-old doctor from the Hills District in Sydney’s north-west, has acquired approximately 20 unique KFC buckets since she began her collection 11 years ago. The mother-to-be is so in love with her prized possessions that they even featured at her wedding in 2012, at her engagement party and photo shoot and at her recent baby shower. Mrs Choo told Daily Mail Australia that she began collecting the buckets while still at university, simply because ‘it just sounded like a good idea at the time’, but the habit soon became the means by which she got to know her husband Jonathon. ’We already attended the same church and lead the same youth group where we took people out for KFC and watched cricket together – which has aligned itself with KFC – so it just became part of our story,’ she said. Due to the strong presence of KFC throughout their dating life, including the fast food and her growing bucket collection in their wedding photographs was ‘a no brainer’, Mrs Choo said. ’On the wedding day, the lunch between the day ceremony and the night reception had to be a quick one, so we thought “of course, KFC!”
RUN FOR THE HILLS! That’s the only advice I can give this guy who thought it would be an okay idea to marry this girl. Look at that first picture. I mean really look at it. Yes, the one where they’re wearing the KFC buckets and seemingly trying to kiss. How did the guy not throw off the bucket that very instant and never talk to her again? No phone calls, no e-mails, no tweets, no nothing. He should’ve gone Rory-style and never contacted her again. From what I can tell, wedding photos are the most emasculating thing in the world. Then throw in wearing buckets that used to contain shitty fried chicken and it’s even worse. That couldn’t have been the first sign though that she was a level of crazy not seen before. When they were dating and he saw the stacks of KFC buckets in her apartment and her response when asked about them was “Oh those? Just your run-of-the-mill KFC bucket collection. Yeah I just really like them so I’ve been collecting them for the past 11 years. Ready to go to dinner?” that was clue #1. Everything else going forward should’ve never happened. Cut it off right there and find a new girl. There’s a whole bunch of them out there. There’s even ones that don’t collect the boxes fast food come in. Promise.
PS- How is that girl not a thousand pounds? Anybody who collects buckets of KFC should be no less than 800 pounds.