— Paige Hoiberg (@PaigeHoiberg) March 27, 2014
So that’s the son of Iowa State head football coach Paul Rhoads asking the daughter of Iowa State head basketball coach Fred Hoiberg to prom with a cringeworthy rendition of “Hey There Deilah”. I was all set to rip this kid a new one because that was truly the worst song I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Like there’s some bad songs out there, but that one might top them all. He was out of tune, the lyrics were tacky at best and he wasn’t even really playing the guitar. Bad all they way around. I wanted to crawl out of skin at the 30 second mark and turn it off but it was like watching a train wreck where it’s so bad that you can’t look away. Kid can’t sing to save his life. But then I remembered the most important thing: chicks love shit like this. They absolutely love it. No matter how bad the song is all they care about is the effort. Like yeah, that song was horrible but it was still a panty dropper in the eyes of every heterosexual chick that watched it. A stroke of genius by this kid, actually. You saw that she said yes, right? She probably couldn’t say yes fast enough. There was no way in hell she was saying no after that. And even if she had, I know for a fact there were naked ladies lined up around Wyatt’s block that would be more than happy to go to prom with him. How could there not be? We’re talking The-Beatles-getting-off-the-plane-in-1964 amount of chicks wanting to go to prom with Wyatt. If you watched that video with your girlfriend in the room sorry but Wyatt Rhoads just stole her.
PS- If these two end up dating, that’s the power couple to end all power couples. Brad and Angelina. Ashton and Mila. Wyatt and Paige.
Double PS- I can guarantee Fred Hoiberg was doing none of this after seeing that video.
Rule #1 of being a male adult: Never have a daughter.